Within my lifetime I’ve spoke with many people and shared my thoughts and beliefs. In those years some of my beliefs have changed overtime. One belief has always stayed true. I control my own destiny. You ask, “Mike, if destiny is predetermined, how can you control it”? That’s a great question. Let me explain.
There are a two things that no-one has control over.
1) Timing – That’s up to God.
2) Certain actions that happen to us. Example: Someone hits you from behind at a stop light, or increased sales goals due to budgeted goals.
We can’t always control the actions that happen to us but in between the action or stimulus and the response is a moment of time, short as it may be, for you to decide how to react. This is where people either say, “This is not possible…why did this happen to me…it’s just not fair” or “I think I can. In fact I know I can. If anyone can do it, it’s me. I’ll show them I can do it and I’ll shine while I do it”. That small opportunity of time between the action and the response is the difference between success and failure.
Let’s take a look at Tim Tebow. He’s a Heisman trophy winner, won 2 SEC Championship games, 2 BCS National Championships and was drafted in the first round of the 2010 NFL draft by the Denver Broncos, so you would think the guy has some skills. A lot of people wrote him off before he even had the opportunity to display his talent. The media said he wasn’t a NFL quarterback. He should be a fullback or tight end. After awhile the masses started believing the hype. That’s why everyone is in shock now because he’s playing so well. The only person that believed was Tebow himself. His faith with God strengthened his belief in himself. He believes that he’s a winner and it’s evident with all of his comeback wins. When he was asked this past Sunday about his success you could see in his eyes the switch was turned on. He said “When you believe, sometimes the unbelievable becomes possible”.
We do control our own destiny and it starts with how you decide to react. Tim believes when you believe, sometimes the unbelievable becomes possible. I believe when the team believes they become unstoppable.
There are two main factors that motivate people. They either have a desire for attainment or they want to avoid something. In simple terms it’s Pain vs. Pleasure.
Let’s talk about something we all must do at one time or another, like mowing the lawn. Someone who is motivated by pleasure will mow the lawn because they want a beautiful manicured lawn and they want a sense of accomplishment. They take great pleasure in the task and are motivated to acquire the feeling. On the other hand, someone who is motivated by pain will mow the lawn because they know if they don’t it will just get taller and it will be much harder to cut the next time. Neighbors may even talk about their lack of motivation and how bad their yard looks.
It’s a funny thing because at one time or another everyone is motivated by either pain or pleasure. It depends on the particular scenario how one will react. One of the best ways to find out which way a prospect is leaning towards is by asking a few simple questions and gauge their response.
Try asking “How do you feel about xyz product/services/company?”, or “What made you choose xyz product/services/company?”. If they respond with a negative response like “I didn’t want to be stuck in a contract so we switched.”, then you would focus on more pain questions that deal with things they want to avoid. If they responded with a positive response like “I really liked the additional feature because it helps us…”, then you should focus on more questions that deal with gaining more value.
This reminds me of a story my uncle told me a few months back. Years ago my cousin didn’t have a satisfactory grade in one of his classes in high school. My aunt told my uncle that he needed to talk to his son. You see when the kids acted up they were my uncle’s kids and when they acted right they were my aunt’s. So my uncle decided that he would take a small trip with his son and he purposely took a different route on the way home. He drove through a bad part of town where there were cars on blocks, houses with roofs falling in, and grass growing waist high engulfing a cemetery of old rusted, beat up cars. My uncle asked “Son, why do you think these people live like that?”, and my cousin said “I don’t know. Why?”. My uncle proceeded to tell him that these people probably didn’t have good paying jobs and couldn’t afford the repairs. If they didn’t have good paying jobs they might not have gone to college. If they didn’t go to college they probably didn’t do well in High School. He then explained that everything you do in school helps prepare you for your life afterward. My uncle tried to motivate my cousin by showing him the pain of not having a good education. My uncle had a tough life and a lot of hardships. He wanted his son to avoid all the battles he endured when he was younger.
Years later my uncle told me the story and what his son told him when he was older. My cousin said “Dad, instead of taking me to the bad part of town to show me what will happen if I didn’t get good grades, you should have taken me to the good side of town (the Country Club) to show me what I could have.” My cousin was motivated by the desire of attainment.
In summary when you speak with your next prospect ask them a few questions to find out what motivated them to make a particular decision. This will help you understand their reasoning and allow you to speak their language. Good luck!
